How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
