The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
