he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
