What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
