so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize