Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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