We won't sleep together?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
