i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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