I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm always down for nudity.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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