Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
