dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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