i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Randomize
