i don't like sucking hair
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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