If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
