Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
