i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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