she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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