you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
