tell your sister to shave her snatch
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
