Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
