Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
