Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
