Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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