the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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