i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
