it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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