that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
