Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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