My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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