its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
