I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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