have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
