It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
