I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
