I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
