Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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