i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
