remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
