TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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