school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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