My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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