And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
