ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
