First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So apparently I’m into choking now
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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