my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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