nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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