but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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