The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
