Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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