at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
