Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
