also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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