Sry I called you an 8
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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