thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
God, I missed his penis.
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