At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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