is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Less talking, more tequila
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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