why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
