shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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