And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
