I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
