She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You pole danced in your parka.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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