u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he thought i was a dude.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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