I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
