Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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