thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
