god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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