You really coming over, don't trick.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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