Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I could fuck to npr.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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