I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
