so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
