i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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