Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
