this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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