Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
